Monday, September 7, 2009
Provo Utah Not Street Smart
As a new freshman at Brigham Young University, I feel pretty fortunate to have my own car on campus. But what I find unfortunate is that I have to be even more cautious of the aggressive drivers in Provo than what I'm used to in my hometown. Now I wouldn't put the blame entirely on the drivers but on the traffic system that was created here in this town. I'm specifically referring to the fact that several of the intersections lack a designated left-turn signal. Instead, cars in the left turn lane must yield to the ever ongoing traffic.
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I think your idea is okay. I am still confused about who your audience is. Is it the students? Is it the people with cars? Is it aggressive drivers? Is it the city who manages the traffic system? I think it would be better if you focused on one in particular and made that clearer in the paragraph.
ReplyDeleteAlso as a side note, lots of lights in Utah don't have a left turn light. Even if some do, they sometimes don't turn on if there aren't enough cars turning left. (You might want to address that in your final essay)
Good choice of topic. I had an experience the other day while walking to school that follows your intro paragragh. But, it seems like you wanted to say more in your intro. I think you should mention, and add in your final paper, ways that the traffic system could change to beeter the town around campus and keep the roads safer.
ReplyDeleteWho is your audience? Government officials who are responsible for our roadways or fellow drivers? Many intersections don't have a left turn light, but I don't think it makes drivers any more aggressive.
ReplyDelete1. Who is your audience? Make sure to let us know for a fact your talking to students at byu...or just people in general.
ReplyDelete2. Your topic is okay. People in Utah definitely are crazy drivers, but maybe show some actual proof. As in examples or statistics.
3. Was that an ending? Make sure to not end on a note like that. It was very abrubt.
other than that good job!
I don't understand what your argument is. Are you saying that the street lights need to be completely redesigned? Is your target audience the Utah state government or the drivers at BYU? It is unclear whether your topic is on poor drivers in provo (and/or in college) or if it is on the traffic system established here. Also make sure to develop a strong support for your stance. Include specific examples that would strengthen your side of the argument.
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