The freshman is an interesting creature. It arrives to college bubbling with excitement and with such a crazed new sense of freedom that any parent still left on campus after midnight would believe that they entered into some sort of personal horror movie from their worst nightmare. The freshman also arrives so disoriented and fragile that if it is not carefully instructed as to its new life, it will become horribly lost on its way to its first class. This instruction is the objective of New Student Orientation. This instruction is what New Student Orientation utterly fails at. The NSO program rushes freshmen so quickly through such a vast amount of information and names of buildings that almost nothing is remembered (except for how to get to Jamba Juice and where the girls' dorms are located). In order for this program to actually be an effective use of time, it must become tailored to the individual needs and schedule of the freshmen that it intends to orientate.
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I liked the introduction. It has an interesting story to define who the audience is and it clearly states your position. I am interested to hear what your points are, because I didn't attend NSO. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI also like the introduction, and i agree completely with the things you have said. I thought that the point of the orientation would be to show us around and get to know the campus, and we spent one hour in 3 days doing that. I think that they wouldn't be able to tailor to individuals, but they could spend less time on worthless time fillers.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction caught me, it was really good! I would like to see your reasons supporting your claim in the same paragragh. The writing doesn't feel like it is ready to transition onto another part with what you currently end with.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic. I thought you did a good job at including pathos into your opening paragraph. Also, I would recommend to not start back-to-back sentences with "This instruction."
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