Monday, September 7, 2009

How big is your pocket?

When you think of the word “poor,” who would you generally put into that category? Single parents, inner city dwellers, maybe illegal immigrants or how about college students? As a college student myself, I know that we aren’t exactly “rollin’ in the dough”. Many students are already in debt with student loans and even have part time jobs just to get by. Not to mention we are constantly begging for money from our parents who have already put in large donations towards our education. I mean, only a handful of freshman and about half of the upperclassman seem to even own a car. So when we need to buy something, such as groceries or clothes, we have no choice but to purchase food at the Creamery, buy a meal plan, or purchase everything else at the BYU bookstore. As poor college students we only have limited funding. So when we have to buy overpriced items at the bookstore or spend over one thousand dollars on a meal plan, we become even more in debt. I think that BYU should do more to accommodate their students by first, making the bookstore provide better prices or discounts for students, and second to provide better meal plans for their students. This change is critical because prices are costing both our families and our own pockets, which in turn causes major problems for us.

5 comments:

  1. I suggest that you dont use the word "us" in the end of your paragraph. Who is us? your family, the students, or the world in general?

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  2. Great topic, I agree completely. Although we all know BYU's tuition is low for the level of education it provides I agree that the meal plans are a bit expensive. I think you should dive deeper into the expenses of the meal plan vs normal meals one might have off campus and compare and contrast the two. Good job.

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  3. A helpful addition could be to add some pathos into your argument. Make it a point to add a personal experience or two to enhance the depth of your argument. Also, go back and look over your rhetoric terms in your book. Take some of hte ideas and concepts from the book, and that might give your article more credibility and authority. So far, good job, and don't forget to watch your punctuation.

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  4. I do like your topic and do agree completely, but I think it will be pretty difficult to persuade your audience. I can already think of some counter arguments. Like what Jake said about BYU's tuition already being pretty low and how students already do get discounts on meals when purchasing meal plans. I'm interested to see how you pull this off.

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  5. Instead of saying "become more in dept." I would use accumulate more dept. One whole in your argument is the substantial subsidies that LDS students receive from the church. Consider a way to overcome this argument.

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