Monday, September 7, 2009
A Freshman's Dream Come True
Freshman Academy is a great experience for any new incoming freshman at Brigham young University. The program creates smaller classes for students that need a little more personal time with the teacher. While registering for classes many students use ratemyproffessor.com to find the best teacher. Many of these students found when they tried to register for the higher rated teachers they were blocked because those classes were reserved for Freshman Academy students. As a result of smaller classes, it enables students to become closer to one another, create study groups and a big factor for many there are more opportunities for social events. As a part of the Freshman Academy program, I have already taken part in a couple study groups, I have many friends, and I went on a date the first week of classes.
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I like your topic, I agree that freshman academy is very good. I would go on to talk about the social events they host and the seminars that we have on Thursdays that can help us plan for our future. Nice beginning!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great start, but one thing you could also add is an opposing perspective. Try to think about what he Freshman Academy students might be missing out on as they are part of this group. Good job adding in a couple personal benefits of Freshman Academy, and, just FYI, watch your punctuation.
ReplyDeleteNice topic, good ethos, but the story about ratemyprofessor.com, although true, seems a little out of place. You could start your paragraph with that story, or use it as an example later on in your paper.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you could shorten the sentence "As a result of smaller classes, it enables students to become closer to one another, create study groups and a big factor for many there are more opportunities for social events."
Good topic and excellent way of conveying your message clearly. Just one thing...i didnt understand the purpose of adding sentences 3 and 4. Are you trying to include a point of opposition to freshman academy? If so, i would explain that in your paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI like the topic but I feel like its almost already a conclusion. I feel like it could also be a little more catchy. Perhaps maybe by asking the reader questions about the difficulty of getting into good classes or getting close to your fellow classmates and stating that freshman academy can solve these problems.
ReplyDelete